Fizzling is derived from the English verb „fizzle out“, which translates as „to fizzle out“. The term is used in connection with dating and names a similar phenomenon to ghosting. Fizzling figuratively describes that a relationship is not ended openly and fairly, but fizzles out.
The difference between ghosting and fizzling
Ghosters are too cowardly to tell the date that they can’t imagine any further contact and disappear from the date’s life without a sound. They simply stop responding to inquiries and become ghosts. Ghosting is now very common and hardly surprises users of dating platforms, so they no longer follow up when the dating partner is obviously uninterested. Nevertheless, this behavior is not only rude, but harmful and should therefore not be excused. The fact that it is possible at all is due to the anonymity of the World Wide Web.
The dating trend Fizzling takes ghosting to the extreme and seems to replace this behavior. With fizzling, the person who is no longer interested does not simply disappear from the other person’s life, but slowly but steadily sneaks out of the relationship. The perfidious part is that a relationship has already been established. Fizzling has the same reason as Ghosten: one of them wants to end the relationship without expressing it concretely. He is not able to clearly demarcate himself.
While ghosting can be recognized relatively quickly, fizzling is not so easy to spot. The person affected only gradually becomes aware that something like this is going on. This is because the partner does not stop contact suddenly, but continuously, thus maintaining a certain level of relationship. This blazes on the lowest flame, so that there is still a spark of hope that more could develop.
Behavioral patterns in fizzling
If you write to each other, the time gaps between replies become longer and longer. The answers are more monosyllabic, the partner reveals less and less about himself and hardly engages. However, the other person only notices after many days, sometimes weeks, that he or she has become a victim of fizzling. Those who have already made acquaintance with the phenomenon of ghosting tend to excuse this behavior. He interprets it as the partner, because he still answers, albeit cryptically, continues to be interested. But he is merely keeping the other person „on a long leash,“ even though the relationship has long since ended for him. He is definitely no longer interested.
What are the consequences of fizzling for the psyche?
The behavior is very harmful because it causes confusion and self-doubt. Fizzling scratches the self-esteem, because negative events have a much stronger impact on the psyche than positive ones. Especially people with lower self-esteem can be extremely negatively affected by Fizzling.
Because the relationship between two people is not ended by clear words, the victim’s thoughts constantly revolve around the question of why the other person does not get in touch. One hopes to get answers after all and looks for solutions to a situation that have long since been decided on the other side. Fizzling victims draw harmful conclusions from this, perhaps assuming they are not interesting or sexy enough. Such thoughts around a perceived inferiority again lower self-esteem.
Fizzling from the perspective of psychologists
Fizzlers take no responsibility for their behavior and hide behind feigned interest. For psychologists, fizzling is a passive-aggressive behavior that surpasses ghosting by quite a bit. Because at the other end of the screen sits not an avatar, but a person in the flesh with emotions. Every person deserves to know where they stand with the other person. People who resort to this „weapon“ are usually very insecure. They don’t have the courage to clearly express that they don’t want any further contact. They don’t even bother to put themselves in the other person’s shoes because their own fears are in the foreground. This indicates a large portion of egoism.