A partnership (relationship) always goes through five phases. These five phases consist of:
- Falling in love and butterflies in the stomach
- Return to reality
All couples who have already gone through these five phases can no longer be divided so quickly. They have already been to various low points in their relationship and have been able to overcome them successfully together. Every low point that is fought together allows the couple to weld together. Positive side effect: The highs appear even more beautiful. Only those who understand these phases and who know at which point of the relationship they are currently standing can deal with the challenges much more easily.
However, it can be noted that although these phases run through every partnership, they vary in length. This means that your partner may still be in a completely different phase than you are. Therefore, it can happen that one still wears the rose-colored glasses, whereas the other has long since taken them off.
How long a person is in a phase depends entirely on oneself. Sometimes couples don’t even make it through all the stages because they realize in between that they don’t fit together at all. Since every partnership is different and unique, it is impossible to say exactly how long each phase of a relationship will last.
First phase of a relationship: Infatuation
Every relationship starts with the infatuation phase. Here, both partners wear rose-colored glasses, float on cloud nine and have butterflies in their stomachs. The partner seems almost ideal during this phase and nothing bad can be found in him. Not least, this is where the saying comes from: „One is blinded by love“. People can hardly wait to see their partner again and keep gifting him or her with small attentions.
But the first phase is also the most decisive phase for how stable the later partnership will be. The couple really grows together during the infatuation phase. This phase lasts about three to 18 months and unfortunately many relationships do not survive this phase. Many people get out of the relationship at this point without knowing what benefits would have resulted from this longer relationship.
Of course, everyone is unsettled at first, as soon as the butterflies have disappeared from the stomach again. Nevertheless, one should not give up immediately at this point, because in the end a deep and connected love partnership can still develop.
The second phase of a relationship: the return to reality
Once you have successfully gone through the first phase and the butterflies in your stomach gradually decrease, you find yourself in the second phase. The high phase of feelings is over and can seem frightening at first. Many people throw in the towel at this point and give up on the relationship. However, you should not act hastily, because this phase is also part of the development process of a stable relationship.
Suddenly you notice the worse sides or negative qualities in your partner and the first conflicts can arise. However, if it is true love, the partnership also passes this hurdle. Solutions and compromises are sought together, which ultimately strengthens the relationship.
Third phase of a relationship: disillusionment
During this phase, many people ask themselves whether they are really in a relationship with the other person. You’ve gotten to know the other person’s rough edges and may realize that it was nice alone, too, and that you’d like to have more free time again. It is precisely in this phase that it becomes clear who really fits together well.
If you find compromises and can accept them, you have a good basis for a well-functioning partnership. For some people, of course, this doesn’t sound like romance at all. However, this phase is essential, because it is now that the decision is made as to whether the initial infatuation can develop into a deep bond.
In the third phase, the first arguments often occur. Here, in particular, care should be taken to remain constructive and to respect the other person’s opinion. It should be practiced to communicate one’s own needs calmly and level-headedly.
Fourth phase of a relationship: acceptance and consolidation
In this phase, one has accepted that the partner cannot be fundamentally changed, and more and more the question of how to proceed now comes to the fore. Either there is the possibility of accepting the other person as he or she is, or the relationship drifts apart. There is no longer any access to each other and thoughts of what it would be like with someone else become more and more present. Especially in this penultimate phase, many people think about other men and women. Last but not least, cheating is most common during this phase.
Couples who have come to terms with each other’s quirks and flaws know that everyone is unique and don’t immediately let the love of their lives go because of small conflicts. Up to this stage, a long journey has already been made by the couple and many hurdles have been overcome together. Now you have to realize whether you want to give all this up or move on. You have to be willing to keep investing in the relationship so that it can continue to grow. A relationship also means work and is based on mutual give and take.
Fifth phase of a relationship: Arrival
It can be clearly stated that the fifth phase is the best of all. It has been recognized that the partner is important to one’s life and that one is equally important to the other. Up to this point, some couples have already gone through smaller and larger crises and have always found their way back to each other. This welds them together. While in phase 4 you are busy with yourself a lot, in the last relationship phase you get closer again.
In the course of their relationship, they have learned that they can trust their partner and also give him or her freedom. After all, they both worked for that, with a lot of talking and perhaps conflict.
Having arrived at this stage, their life together can now be united amicably and harmoniously. Because of the previous conflict resolution and clarification of one’s own needs, no one has to feel neglected. So there are no more false expectations of the partner. The time of masquerades is over. Since both have recognized this, they love each other as they are. So they have „arrived“ in their relationship. A long road lies behind the couple and the relationship has been through a lot up to this point. Those who have reached this last phase can consider themselves lucky.
Conclusion: The 5 phases of a relationship
What is certain is that none of these five phases of a partnership can be skipped or shortened. It can be helpful for some couples to know at which point of the relationship they are currently in. After all, not only do you go through these phases yourself, but so does your partner. Everyone who gets involved in a partnership and love goes through them.
It helps to keep in mind that every phase that is overcome is another step towards true love. Most people just don’t always realize that they might be in a not-so-nice phase of the relationship right now, but think they can’t get out of this insurmountable crisis.
At the same time, every partnership goes through almost similar types of crises. Each of these crises also has its meaning and fulfills a certain purpose. Only who overcomes these crises, strengthens the partnership and is thus the way to the great love again a piece closer. Strictly speaking, crises are actually essential for a partnership, because only in this way can relationships grow. Partnerships without crises do not exist.
Some crises are familiar to many people and they may have already been experienced in other previous relationships. As a rule, however, the former partners do not know each other and have not been able to talk to each other about the various crises. If identical or similar crises occur again and again in the relationships, then one possibly carries something in oneself that seeks and produces exactly such crises. So you should consider that many crises also have to do with yourself and not always with your partner.
It has often been observed that partners are chosen according to such crisis potentials. There should be someone at the side with whom exactly this problem can be lived out. Those who are more aware of their crises and know why such problems always repeat themselves could deal with them much easier and better in the future. Thus, it could even happen that some crises are completely omitted.