„Cookie Jarring“ is a dating phenomenon that has very unpleasant consequences for one of the participants. It is increasingly reported on the platform TikTok in the early summer of 2023. For the first time, the dating trend appeared in 2019. In the meantime, it seems to be very common. Due to this, people concerned have invented their own name for it, namely „Cookie Jarring“.
What is „Cookie Jarring?“ Explanation, meaning, definition
It is about the fact that one of the people involved considers himself to be the only dating partner, but the other person has several „irons in the fire“. He is dating at least one other date without the partner knowing about it. „Cookie in the Jar“ means cookie in a jar; this refers to the third person that the person who is „Cookie Jarring“ has „up his sleeve.“ She is, so to speak, the reward in case you don’t want to meet up with the first date. It is quite possible that there are several „Cookies in the Jar“.
What are the consequences of „Cookie Jarring“?
„Cookie Jarring“ is deceitful and very hurtful to the person being deceived. The person being considered as a second choice is also deceived and shamed. „Cookie Jarring,“ then, is doubly mortifying. At best, it leaves a stale taste when you realize the other person wasn’t seriously interested at all. But the behavior can also weaken self-esteem. This is especially true for those people who are already equipped with weak self-esteem.
Why do people engage in „Cookie Jarring“?
People who engage in „cookie jarring“ are rarely aware of the feelings they trigger in the other person. They often have commitment anxiety, are insecure, and shy away from taking responsibility. They are usually unaware of how base they are acting. If they do realize it, they basically have little empathy for others and are very self-centered.
„Cookie Jarring“ and two-track driving are similar, but not synonymous. People who double-track usually give equal importance to both dates. With „cookie jarring,“ on the other hand, there is a clear priority. The person who serves as the „iron in the fire“ has to deal with many rejections and flimsy excuses.
Dating non-commitment – a phenomenon of the 21st century
No one wants to be just #2 in dating. We all want appreciation and recognition from our counterpart, especially when it comes to a budding love relationship. Unfortunately, the people involved rarely know that there is another important person, a Plan B. „Cookie Jarring“ is only discovered when spontaneous dating is not possible. It is also noticeable that individuals almost never make a date for an entire day. That’s because it’s a challenge to schedule dates with multiple people without Date No. 1 noticing. The transferred person gets suspicious and wonders what the reasons could be. If the other person were truly interested, he or she would facilitate a meeting.
Men have a stronger tendency to have more „irons in the fire“ when it comes to dating than women, as dating platforms have been able to determine in their own research. Time and again, women report that their new acquaintance „drove multiple tracks.“ Men who behave this way can’t or don’t want to commit. The Internet makes it particularly easy to choose from a variety of interesting people, turns relationships into consumer goods. Thus, one is seduced into believing there is always a better option. The WWW promotes dissatisfaction with the status quo.
What is the right way for those affected to behave?
No one deserves to be treated so basely. Anyone who has suspicions should address their suspicions and, if they prove to be true, end the relationship as soon as possible. Because the longer it lasts, the greater the emotional damage.