In the 90s, the American comedy “Groundhog day” was a box office hit. In this film, the main protagonist relives Groundhog Day over and over again. The latter is celebrated in the USA every year in February. A groundhog is awakened from hibernation and the animal’s behavior is interpreted in relation to the near or distant end of winter. The main character in the film relives this day over and over until he realizes what he needs to change about his life.
“Groundhogging” thus represents routine behavior that can be quite counterproductive.
Groundhogging when dating
When choosing a partner, everyone has certain preferences. These can concern the appearance, the character or even the profession of a potential partner. Consciously or even instinctively, singles who want to date prefer to date people who meet their criteria.
Even the failure of a relationship often cannot break this routine. The next partner often resembles the previous one.
How does groundhogging come about?
Apart from personal preferences, singles gather experience on the dating market over the years. They determine which people immediately arouse their curiosity, who shares the same sense of humor, and with whom it “may be worthwhile” to enter into conversation with regard to a potential relationship. This is not bad per se, because after all, commonalities represent an important pillar in the basic framework of a relationship.
What is Groundhogging? Dating, meaning, definition, explanation
But what if the type of person who has been chosen as suitable can’t actually make you happy at all, because he simply doesn’t fit? Then groundhogging becomes a tricky cycle that traps the single in a negative loop.
There is some evidence of being trapped in groundhogging:
Relationships always end unhappily for the same reason. The ex-partners look amazingly similar, always come from the same social class, have comparable professions or related characters. An internal checklist used to filter out potentially interesting dating partners may also indicate a tendency toward groundhogging.
Breaking through to a new start
Breaking through groundhogging is not easy. Because understandably, most singles move with a certain insecurity on the dating market. After all, hardly anything is as personal as being turned down. Familiarity provides security.
To end your own groundhogging, you don’t have to turn your entire dating behavior upside down.
Questioning your own expectations of a potential partner is the first step toward breaking the vicious circle. Is it really only a special appearance that is attractive, or could someone who doesn’t meet this requirement also be appealing?
Does the partner necessarily have to have certain character traits or wouldn’t others be just as valuable?
Answering such questions honestly can be a start to stop groundhogging.
Changing the dating venue can also help broaden one’s perspective. If the right partner is being searched for online, it may be worthwhile to be on the move on other portals as well.
To move away from the familiar paths in the dating jungle is definitely worth a try. Because perhaps the key to happiness lies in the previously unknown. Breaking down established ideas about and requirements for a future partner can open up completely new horizons.
Don’t go overboard
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Flexibility and openness can help you to be happy in love, but only to a certain extent.
Nothing should be forced. A date with someone who seems unappealing at first sight certainly makes no sense for either party.
However, it can be interesting to get to know a nice person, who unfortunately does not seem to be the right type at first glance, without obligation.
So breaking groundhogging does not mean forcing yourself to do something. It just means keeping your eyes open for surprising options and being open to new things.