What is a Pick Me Girl? Meaning, explanation, definition


A “Pick Me” girl is a (young) girl who seeks attention, recognition and acceptance from male friends very strongly.

A Pick Me girl does a lot to get attention from others. Partly she tries desperately to attract and get the attention of others.

What is a Pick Me Girl? Meaning, explanation, definition

The term pick-me-girl has a negative connotation. It is also used as an insult.

The expression “Pick-Me-Girl” has a negative touch (vibe) because the Pick-Me-Girl displays undesirable behavior. This is e.g. strong neediness, pushiness and aloofness, but also dishonesty and mendacity. (The Pick-Me-Girl can be satisfied with any means, if it only attracts the attention of male friends).

Typical Pick-Me-Girl behavior is:

  • Badmouthing the crush of her male friends.
  • Have no interests of their own; preferring to take on the hobbies of others or interests they think others have (preferably the hobbies of their male friends from whom they seek attention).
  • Manipulate Pick me Girls by using their cuteness, femininity or beauty.
  • Talking bad about others / badmouthing others (Especially talking bad about other women to make herself look in a better light). (Victim Blaming)
  • Flattery, sliming, compliments
    Presenting oneself in a particularly positive light and overvaluing oneself
  • ascribing to themselves qualities that they believe men or male friends desire and value
  • Writing constant text messages/contacting each other all the time
  • Pretending to be very different from the other girls

Pick-Me-Girls have many male friends and are very proud of them.

Pick-Me girls can be very affectionate and insecure.

The problem with Pick Me Girls: psychology

The problem with pick-me girls is that they only engage in their behavior because they desperately want approval (from male friends). This leads them to be dishonest with others, but also with themselves. They pretend, make themselves small and play a role. Here it is better if they are honest and work on their self-confidence. Because pretending or making yourself small to please others has never helped anyone (in the long run).

If you think Pick-Me-Girls through to the end, you will come to the conclusion that they will always depend on the attention and recognition of others. They will never be self-reliant or self-confident because they prefer to get their self-confidence from outside confirmation instead of working to get it from within. (After all, a pick-me girl might pursue an exciting hobby or do something that boosts her self-confidence).

On the social media app TikTok, the “Pick-Me-Girl” trend is rampant.

Related to the Pick-Me-Girl is the Simp (Nice Guy). Both want the attention of others or another and do things for it.

The counterpart to the Pick-Me-Girl is the Pick-Me-Boy.

What is a Pick me Girl? meaning, explanation

“Pick me” means “take me.” The best way to understand the Pick Me Girl is with the following metaphor. At school, in class or in gym class, there is this one student. She stretches her arm up in the air and desperately wants to be picked or chosen. She does this so desperately that practically everyone sees her desperation and somehow rejects her. Instead of achieving her goal, the opposite happens for the Pick-Me-Girl. She is ignored or not taken seriously because she is just too “needy” and too pushy.


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Origin “Pick me Girl

Around 2016, the idea of ‘Pick Me’ became popular in the black (BIPoC) US internet community. At the time, the hashtag ‘TweetLikeAPickMe was used.

‘Pick Me’ was the term used to describe people who promoted themselves as being particularly nice and helpful in order to please a potential mate or partner.

In 2018, the “Pick Me” phenomenon was again discussed on the Internet.

In 2021, the “Pick Me” phenomenon arrived on TikTok. Here, the “Pick me Girl” (as described in the text above) was talked about.

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