The „girlfriend/boyfriend experience“ is a dating trend that describes a relationship in which both partners have different expectations. While one person hopes that a new acquaintance will develop into a permanent partnership, the other person does not want to invest more deeply in the relationship, but wants to leave it at a superficial level. However, he maintains the illusion that the relationship could intensify. The behavior of keeping one of the two in limbo is unfair and can be very unsettling.
Boyfriend / Girlfriend Experience: What is it?
Normally, people who are looking for a partner assume that you will get closer over time and that the initial affection can develop into a permanent relationship. The new date apparently does a lot for the relationship, behaves very friendly and sociable. At some point, it gets to the point where this person takes up a lot of space in the other person’s life. This person now assumes that something permanent will develop out of it. She invests even more time and energy in this relationship, which is by no means uncaring.
The non-committal person is also tender, courteous, trusting and polite. He behaves like the best girlfriend or boyfriend. In fact, however, in the „girlfriend/boyfriend experience“ there is no real interest on one side in a permanent relationship. This side wants the togetherness to remain superficial. The reasons for the lack of commitment can be complex: Sometimes it is previous negative experiences with relationships, unresolved fears from childhood, a fundamentally indecisive character and the like.
When you involuntarily encounter a „girlfriend / boyfriend experience“.
In a „Girlfriend/Boyfriend-Experience“ one person always invests more in the relationship than the other. At the same time, however, the latter enjoys the benefits of the conventional partnership. The word actually comes from the sex worker vocabulary, and so similarly the person offering the „girlfriend experience“ or „boyfriend experience“ understands this connection. It’s about companionship, cozy get-togethers, nice conversations, cuddling, sometimes even sexual intercourse. All of these behaviors are commonplace in a normal relationship as well, but mine doesn’t involve any kind of commitment. Nevertheless, the same standards should apply as in a long-term partnership. This contradiction is not resolvable, confuses and unsettles, because one is led to believe that a firm partnership can develop from the noncommittal meetings.
Address the conflict directly
The imbalance cannot go well in the long run. Most insecure people who are in such a relationship do not dare to address the noncommittal person about his or her behavior. A common motive: They don’t want to scare the other person off in the unstable initial phase of the relationship and possibly force him into a corset. However, it is precisely this behavior that increases frustration. It is very important to clarify your expectations from the beginning. If the cards are open, you don’t have to hope in vain that the other person is ready for more after all and can turn to new relationships.
Further meaning of Boyfriend / Girlfriend Experience
The situation is different when one consciously decides to use a service and books a man or a woman in order not to be alone. In this context, the terms „girlfriend experience“ and „boyfriend experience“ are also used more frequently. Here, it is not uncommon to have a companion with whom you can share your experiences. In this case, closeness and emotional as well as physical intimacy can be rediscovered or rediscovered for oneself. The interactions are as real as in natural relationships. The participants establish a human connection, but for a fee. It is the combination of lover and best friend that can be enriching as an experience.
„The Girlfriend Experience“ is a US television series that began airing in 2016. The series „The Girlfriend Experience“ is based on the 2009 film of the same name „The Girlfriend Experience“ by Steven Soderbergh.